Just a note before we get into the good stuff --- if you happen to see cursive font on the sidebars, the page isn't loading correctly :( And as for this post, if van's comments are not in comic sans, then I'd say it's a 99.8% chance you're on an iDevice. Just pretend boring ol' Times New Roman is the dreadful comic sans :P
Hello again, y’all. I guess van and I are back to make another Google Docs article so if you hate these types of things, ignore this post LEL but don’t stop following our blog k thanks
hey look, it’s eri’s “who knows what” font again
do we even have followers
Excuse me, van. Courier is a very credible font. Noob.
hey, I just noticed you didn’t capitalize my name :’D. I dislike you a bit less.
Wow we’ve been best friends for how long now and you still dislike me?
A Guide to Graal --- From Both a Pro and a Nub’s Perspective:
//sidenote: Obviously the pro is me and the nub is van because I am a greaaaaat pker and an even better sparrer because, I mean, who wouldn’t want negative spar?!
but i’m not a nub ): crie/
oFFIcIALL GUIDE TO pRONESS in GReL:
So first things first, when you first begin Graal, look for a player named ‘derek!’. Upon clicking her profile, there will be an ‘honor’ button at the bottom of the profile. Click on it to begin your journey. You’re done! You are now a pro at GraalClassic! GJ GZ KTHXBYE
That was not what I had in mind but okay, that works too.
Wait. There are still honor points? I seriously didn’t know that.
I STILL HAVE 14 UNSPENT HONOR POINTS -SHAKES FIST AT GRAAL ADMINS-
van has not typed anything in the last ten minutes so I shall venture onward by myself.
THE Second OFFICIAL GUIDE TO BECOMing AN EXTREMELY PRO GRAAL PLAYER, TAKE 2:
1) There are “chat codes” that you input into the chatbox that allow your player to do a variety of things. There’s a secret code that most people don’t know about; it allows you to do a barrel roll, but it only works in towers. Go ahead and try it out. The command is :barrelroll.
2) Advertise for a girlfriend or boyfriend in Graal City and marry them in the church. It automatically gives you an extra 10 eggnogs (which can replenish health) and boosts your AP up. If you marry in the Sky Church (or whatever it’s called) southwest of the Graal City Bridge, then you can boost your AP by up to 50 points (depending on your partner’s AP)!
2.69) AP is very valuable, and the more AP you have, the more others will admire and worship you. Those scrubs who have 0 AP (like Sir Flamingo of Best 2000 Gralats Spent) are looked down upon. Peasants. And as everyone knows, AP stands for Advanced Placement in Graal.
AP exams are held in Septembruary.
3) If someone happens to kill you out in Swamp or wherever, send them a PM (preferably saying something along the lines of “You noob muthaf********************************************”) before blocking them. They aren’t worth your time. It gives you an extra 20 AP as well, since you’re helping the admins block out the annoying troublemakers.
But I am worth your time.
How about no.
Don’t listen to her.
Just do it.
Please don’t sue me, Nike.
Not the Greek goddess.
4) If you want to try your hand at pking, get on your horse. Whenever someone tries to chase you down, run into trees or walls, and once the other player slashes at you, you’ll be able to enter a secret tree world where s/he can’t enter. Seriously, it works every time.
5) When towering, slashing at the bottom edge of the flag allows you to take away double the health. Alternatively, if you are defending, it allows you to replenish the health at twice the speed of if you were to slash on the sides/top. Increase the health at thrice the speed if you slash with your ally tag on while defending.
6) Don’t be afraid to ask for donations. It makes you seem very outgoing, and people will be more than willing to be your friend. If you ask me, I’ll have to hump you first. Do I look like I care if you’re female or male?
7) If you incessantly talk to admins, they’ll definitely want to be your friend. (: Let them know how friendly you are! Asking for hats makes them really happy, too. ^^ Be sure to spam them about events. Admins seriously love the attention from Graalians.
By the way, I vouch for the spamming statement. This is coming from an ex-admin lel yeah they’re probably never going to hire me again once they see this blog post ...uh... because this stuff is valuable advice that isn’t really supposed to be public knowledge.
8) Spam Jesusbacon. Tell him he’s too white for Graal and splash some tea on his “buttocks” (is that a Brit term?). Don’t paint an image in the readers’ heads, s’il te plait. Brits ain’t that great, save for their accents. Besides, isn’t it s’il vous plait? Pls get ur french strait l0L
Dude that “lol” makes me feel uncomfortable.
8.96 ) French lesson. S’il vous plait is used formally. S’il te plait is used informally. Oh, and there’s an accent on top of the ‘i’ in ‘plait’. kthxbye.
Close enough yo
I speak the language of the French.
Oui oui croissant baguette eiffel towel go away van stop changing tower to towel; clearly you don’t speak French.
I speak Vietnamese too, guys. pho pho pho pho pho pho pho phop hohhphohohp
And I quote, “pho. phophophopho!” - Nguyen 2016
“Bloody hell, mate” - Jesusbacon 2014
“I like my tea without sugar” - Jesusbacon 3014
“I’m going to go out and have some tea with three other lads” - Jesusbacon 4014
“Top of the morning to you” - Jesusbacon 5014
“I want Eri’s bacon strips.” - Jacon 2069
Dang 10% laptop battery life left.
There’s this new invention called the charger. Very modern and cutting-edge technology.
I’m too lazy to get up :c Wow this is a really cute smiley face.
I must disagree. :c c: :u :o :P :D c; ;c Look at these.
Excuse me get your comic sans butt out of here please.
:) :( :D ;) ;D :P :o :c c: :o
Ew. Look at that “What the hell is htat” font.
Htat lol sure very credible
9) When towering, if you use your bug net on the flag, it allows you to capture someone from an enemy guild (whether you are defending or attacking). They’ll be unable to slash for a full ten seconds. It’s really helpful when the flag’s below 50.
9.6) You may be wondering, “w0t is a bug net?????”. It’s a net for capturing enemies. DUh. You get to keep mini replicas of them in a jar and release them to buzz around in your house/guild house. They’re very enjoyable and may be sold to the witch for a teal gralat. By the way, the witch can only be found in that tree world we mentioned earlier in #4. Remember, it’s a teal colored tree. Not green. Not red. Teal.
9.61) It’s called a bug net because enemy guilds on Graal are called bugs. In case you didn’t know that.
10) van says hi
Thanks a lot for stealing my #10. I’ll give you 10.5.
11) There’s a secret entrance to free rainbow gralats in Graal City too. Pay up your honor points and I’ll specify. :)
12) what else is hella pro? me.
13) Damn it, I always get the unlucky number. Anyway, remember to
Remember to what? I forgot what to remember. Is it Friday?
Aight let’s stop here.
Be sure to follow these tips yo they’re extremely helpful
Take our word for it.
wait why is there so much empty space above this LOL k hi guise